Kissing Frogs and Other Fairytale Foolishness

Growing from little girls to women, we all want the fairytale life and relationship, most of us anyway. While not willing to admit it, it really is the sad truth. We want our love lives to be just like that that fairytales are made of. But nothing could be further from the truth.  As women, we spend alot of time dating and it often becomes very tiring and monotonous. I had a lady ask me once, " young lady are you married", and my reply was. " no ma'am, I'm still kissing frogs!" She found this remark to be quite amusing. She said that she hadn't ever heard anyone put it like that before.  The truth of the matter is, that in my young 35 years, I have spent a majority of my time kissing frogs in hopes that they would become a prince just like the one in the fairytale. Well I'm here to tell you that that's not exactly how things work. I heard Boris Kodjo say,  "as women, we often are willing to deal with the man standing in front of us instead of dealing with who the man really is. "  Now this statement alone gives cause for great consideration when looking at the people that we choose to date. I'm slowly learning that whatever a man tells you is exactly what he means even if he is doing just the opposite. He will truly show you what he thinks of you. We are often willing to deal with the potential of a man rather than taking him for the man that he really is. I myself have been guilty of making this mistake more times than I care to count. My hopes were that by now I would have been in some sort of meaningful relationship with a man that is deserving of the love that I have to give. But here I am still kissing frogs. It used to upset me quite the bit, but as I grow and I mature, I have come to the realization that everything comes in due time and rushing it only makes the process even more lengthy and tedious. So here I am eager and happy to see what happens next in hopes that eventually Prince Charming will arrive with my last first kiss and kissing frogs will be a distant and fond memory.

If It Dont Fit, Dont Force It...

So it's been a minute since I've actually taken the time to sit down and write... I think for the most part I had an insane case of writer's block or just a very terrible case of not being able to handle the truth.  In the last few weeks I've had to do some self assessment and re-group.. Life often never happens like you would like to think it should and rolling with the punches becomes a sport of sorts.... So here I am rolling with the punches.  It has been very difficult for me to admit that I often am my own worst enemy and I am the cause of much of my heartache and discontent. It seems that I've spent a majority of my adult life forcing pieces into the wrong places. This alone has caused me the greatest amount of pain. In all of our lives there is a time and a place for everything and for everyone that enters your life there is a purpose and a reason wether it be made known to you immediately or wether you figure you out later on down the line, everything has a reason and a purpose. In my saying all of that, I have come the realization that I have been willing for so long to accept whatever has been thrown in my direction regardless of the pain or discomfort that it has or may cause me just for the sake of saying that I was in it... These relationships, wether romantic or platonic have often been extremely septic to my existence, but again for the sake of saying that I was in it has lead me to many sleepless nights and even more times of me questioning my sanity and loyalty to those that I give the most care and love to. I have yet again allowed myselft to question my worth just for that sake of saying that I was in it... I was there. As I grow and I learn, this very consistent practice has become a thorn in my side. I have decided that I am no longer willing to be a part of ANY relationship that I have questions about. I can't make anybody be anything that they don't want to be and forcing what doesn't fit only makes me feel better for a while but eventually brings me back to where I started.  So, if don't fit don't force it, let the chips fall where they may  and it is what it is.....