Inside My Love

As I continue on this journey of self discovery, things are slowly but surely becoming more clear to me, when I think about where I've been and the road that I'm traveling now. I've come to the realization that, for the first time since 2008,  I am absolutely positively single... *sighs* It sounds kind of funny to hear me say aloud, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be.  Now, here's where my honesty comes in.  The only real things that I miss about being in a relationship is sleeping alone some nights and not having someone to talk to all of the time. I mean, I have three daughters that really occupy my time, but our conversations are usually me and my...  (not that that's unusual for teenage girls or any girls for that matter.) I had the pleasure of spending the weekend with some of my favorite people and in the few hours that I was able to find a quiet moment, I sat and listened to my thoughts.  (you'd be surprised at the things that you hear when you just stop and listen.) I'm what one might call a serial monogamist. I'm usualy in a relationship with someone regardless to how happy or unhappy I am. I have always been the one in search of something. It has become clear to me that my biggest problem all of this time has been my ability to completely ignore how I feel in order to love someone else. While there is no law against loving other people, there is the age old addage of, " how can you love someone else without loving yourself first. " I'm learning that this statement hits me right in the gut.  So here I am falling in love with myself!! It feels great and I"m learning not to be afraid, of things that I have no control over.  I'm learning that inside my love, everything that I've never needed is right here inside of who I am.  I'm so such more than I've offered myself over the years, and I am no longer willing to settle for anything other than what I deserve.  I'm so excited to be on this journey of self discovery that I can't wait to see what happens next.....